"Has the bus come yet? If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?"

Despite my better predictions posted on the 21st November The Arctic Monkeys are proving to be quite popular with plenty of MTV airplay for their video for “I bet you look good on the dance floor” and a short US tour followed by an immediate return to big London venues already planned. Their next song “When the sun goes down” is also getting radio play. Oh I’d love to have been in the NME editors office when they realised that the Arctic Monkeys might actually be big, I’m sure they are kicking themselves right now, unfortunately to remove lips from monkey posterior at this stage would simply be a U-turn, not a very brash rock and roll tactic I must say. But if it is any consolation to the NME big wigs I think no one understands better the Monkey’s limited longevity better than the boys themselves.

Without wishing to trip out, what didn’t start life as being very insightful, lines again; I really believe they have missed the punk bus and despite the old adage, two will not be along shortly. If I may refer you to the video for “I bet you look good on the dance floor” I believe there are numerous tell tale signs which have “god I wish it was ’79 again” written all over them.

Firstly I must profess I haven’t seen a guitar slung so high since the beach boys and although punk shouldn’t be about how it looks I don’t think they are doing themselves any favours by impersonating Paul McCartney. Secondly they chose to have their video recorded in some grainy quality which is somewhat reminiscent of 70s top of the pops and the end screen two tone bubble text just goes to prove my point. Thirdly they went with that popular punk “no fans” look for the video, while they would like to say “we are only in this for the music, not the fans or the money” they are really saying” We wish this was the Hacienda”. The Hacienda was a ground breaking punk venue which opened in Manchester in 1982 and until 1986 didn’t have any customers, a trend reversed by Dave Haslam’s Indies Thursdays. The club eventually slipped under in 1992 but not until it had left its mark on punk and indie, the Happy Mondays have a lot to thank the Hacienda for. Lastly with lyrics like “like in 1984” you will always be walking the fine line of misinterpretation.

In brief conclusion I really think the Arctic Monkeys need to grab what they can before it’s all too late and bearing in mind they have only just reached puberty I seriously suggest they all stay in school. I had an ironic titter to myself upon hearing the last line to their song “Fake Tales of San Francisco” which read “Get off the bandwagon and put down the hand book” while this is an authentic punk message about spontaneity and not following the crowd it does miss the obvious point that you have to be on before you can get off.